LOS Nov 2001

Day 1

Flight from San Francisco to Tokyo (United Airlines) is only 30% full (United just announced that they lost $1 billion this quarter. Another quarter or two like that and they'll be history). The flight from Tokyo to Bangkok however is full so maybe there is hope for United. Land in Bangkok around 11 pm. Just as I see the bus that will take me to my hotel, it begins to leave. I scowl. Fortunately the girls selling the bus tickets see my pained expression and tell the driver to wait. Great! 90 Baht ride instead of a 300-400 baht taxi. (45 Baht/$1). A good omen. Due to the rains (described below) the air in Bangkok is absolutely clean and clear! (Believe me, this is major: normally you can notice the haze simply looking across a street).Check into the Nana Hotel/Brothel. Words can't do justice to the place but I'll try: the place has got color. It's funky but there's wall-to-wall girls (thanks to 'Angels Disco' which is in the hotel and is in full swing). I decide however to go across the street to the Nana Entertainment Plaza (otherwise known as the NEP): 3 floors of go-go places. Go into one (Carousel, which was fairly empty on a Saturday night) and find my honey for the evening. No, not a gogo dancer but rather the waitress: Hey, they're all cute and sweet and I'm just so easy. Next day I go to Pattaya using the bus from Bangkok (90 Baht) instead of going by taxi (about 900 Baht). Just as we pull into the Pattaya bus station, a torrential downpour begins: the rain is quite warm so even though I'm immediately drenched, it really doesn't matter. The rain stops 30 minutes later. I shower. 1 hour later the torrential rain begins anew. This time it lasts 45 minutes. Makes for interesting weather.

Television

Pattaya truly has international television. The channels are in Thai, English, French, German, Chinese, Japanese, and Italian (I think).The Japanese channels feature the Japanese version of WWF. The women wrestlers are great! They're not amazon-size hulks as the Americans are, but make up for it with outrageous histrionics. But it's okay as the contestants hug one another and raise their clasped hands in mutual respect and exhaltation after previously bashing each others brains in.The English channels feature CNN, Fox News, ... and a fashion channel featuring models (Oh, are they actually wearing clothes?) At night they show the lingerie modeling. Only in Thailand.The Pattaya Mail (Pattaya's English newspaper) now has a news show telling what's happening in town. So just what is happening? Well, there was an attempted murder (standard fare) of an older couple who got into an argument (not sure whether they were Thai or Falang), a local (I think an ex-pat) was found dead in a bar of apparent over-dose of alcohol (he was a known alcholic), a drug bust (3 or 4 16-year olds dealing amphetamines - the drug of choice - I have no idea why amphetamines appear to be more popular than heroin). Naturally I've saved the best tidbit for last: the 'morality' police busted an entertainment venue for: <shudder> LIVE SEX SHOWS! Yes folks. That kind of thing actually occurs in the pure-as-the-driven-snow (assuming that Thailand has such) Kingdom. But wait. Just who exactly got busted? Yep, Eastern European/Russians. Thais like to keep the business for Thais. The police also like their baksheesh. Note that there are other venues with "Want to see live Fucking show?". Also, (many) go-gos feature the most interesting lesbian shows replete with toys.More revelations to be reported as I stumble upon them.

Beauty vs. Attitude

Last night's plan was to start off at Planet Rock a-gogo and end up over at Tony's and try to hook up with the elusive and mysterious Noy from last year. It's always good to have a plan but true to form, the plan went out the door.I'm at the 'Rock' ogling the girls (Hey, what happened? They're wearing bikinis! Don't tell me the morality police are making noises again). One of them comes up to me saying just what a naughty girl she is and threatening me with all manner of acts. She's fondling me and checking out how it's going along while we're both calmly talking to the waitress and ordering. 'Pay', this most naughty girl, is also encouraging me to fondle her. It suddenly dawns on me that Pay is speaking passable English. (It took me a while to realize this as I was so wonderfully distracted). Needless to say, I was sold.We get back to the hotel after enduring a ridiculously loud and expensive snack over at the Planet Rock restaurant (not the gogo - this is the world-wide chain of the same name). With all her threats I asked Pay whether I should partake of some Viagra. She said no. It won't be needed. Pay is true to her word and I'm ruined for at least 24 hours.Pay has had a kid (she's 24). Like many Thais, having a kid wipes out their figures (I hadn't noticed this in the gogo). However, she more than makes up for this minor short-coming with her outstanding performance. We talk about this and she says that it's her job to give good service. Rerally nice to have someone who has this attitude. I intend to see her again after recovering.

Labor

The supply of labor overwhelms its demand in Thailand. Go to restaurant: it's overstaffed (resulting in very good service). Go to a snooker parlor here in Pattaya: not one but two girls are assigned to the table to rack the balls and hand you a bridge as needed (snooker tables are monstrously large). I'm afraid to guess what they're being paid. Tips are very important. (Admittedly this was at 2 AM and some of the girls had nothing better to do and so were playing snooker among themselves).

'Ladies of the Evening' (a favorite subject of mine).

Boy, does that expression not apply here.

1) You aren't restricted to ladies. Boys and 'ladies of the second category' (the Thai expression for ladyboys) are also available.

2) Evening? Please! Although evening is the most popular time, entertainment can be had 24/7.

High tourist season is approaching. Fear not however, there are way more girls than customers. Walking to some gogo bars can be hazardous: you have to through a literal gauntlet of beer bars where you hear "Hello sexy man. Where you go?" and being grabbed (hard). Life is tough.

A girl that you've been with for the night or the last 24 hours and has completely drained you is quite happy with $25 (I'll admit that if I was truly blown away I'll make a gift of maybe twice that. Notice I said gift. The girls don't consider themselves to be prostitutes. At least not in the Western sense). What makes the experience interesting is that often the girl considers herself to be your girlfriend for the time that you're with her and will quite quickly let you into her world. This can be very dramatic: I'm having dinner last night with 'Ma'. One of her friends joins us from out of the blue (actually Ma had called her on the phone). Seems 'Chit' was very upset as her Falang boyfriend of 1 year had blown her off that day. She was too upset to eat and declined to join us for a movie. Having said all this though, this is also an illusion. The mobile phone rings (they all seem to have them). In broken English: "Hello Darling. How are you? I miss you so much! No, I no work bar. I no go with man." This while you're in the middle of doing her. I've also seen a bar girl's email. They try to get a stable of customers to maintain an ongoing relationship hopefully with transfers of $ into their (the bar girl's) account. Love and money are inextricably intertwined. (The girl next to me in this internet cafe is emailing just such a missive to one of her boyfriends. Her English is really good!)

No matter how attractive a girl is, the competition is keen: there are just so many of them. The one you were with previously a few days earlier will most likely be available tonight. I asked Pattaya Pete (owner of the Freelancer Bar) where he gets his stable of girls. "They just show up on the doorstep". Why Asian girls aren't featured more in Western men's magazines puzzles me: they are knockouts. And they are plentiful.

Discos

There are different kinds. Those that are frequented primarily by Falang men are mostly just pickup places. Those away from the tourist scence are typical: loud (very!). Went to one last night (Xzyte) that features a live band and dancers. Very flash. Thais seem to just love this type of thing. Between the live entertainment they seemed to be just as happy with the canned disco music - the same tunes that are played incessantly everywhere.Signing off as that's all for now.

The Adventure Continues

I need to get some film developed (sorry Bob, no naked pictures as the girls are modest and are quite aware that the photos often end up on the internet). I'm on Beach Road looking around trying to see where I can do this. A woman asks from a nearby booth that arranges sight-seeing tours if she can be of help. I tell her what I want. "We can do this". "Can the film be developed by today?" "No problem". The infrastructure here in Pattaya is very good.

Yesterday morning Ma phones. "Hello Steve. Why you no see me last night? Are you with lady?". "Yes". She (sort of) takes the hint and we say good-bye. I really don't have the patience for BS and prefer to be direct. It may not be the Thai way, but it is mine. And this is my holiday.

Ma calls THIS morning. "Hello Steve I want see you." I protest but she wants to come to my room in 10 minutes. (Why can't I have this kind of problem back home?). I slept alone last night so there's no awkwardness. Ma arrives 5 minutes later and is pawing at me while I'm saying that this just isn't going to happen. She's a nice girl but there really isn't any connection. I take her to breakfast and again gently say how things are. I think she finally accepts that I do not want to see her. Obviously she needs a customer.

Last night

I called Paul in the afternoon to see if he would like to hook up. He's meeting a girl at 8 PM; I'm meeting mine (Lek) at 10 PM so it won't work. I should explain that Paul's vacation was a gift from his mother and that it was a package deal including a stay at a luxury hotel. He now realizes that this is not such a good idea: these hotels cater to the family trade and so discourage bringing girls to the rooms (my hotel couldn't care less and it is actually the norm as the hotel is comprised mostly of single men. Some of the men have their Thai girls frolicking in the pool by day - I love Thailand). Paul's hotel charges an 800 Baht guest fee - this in addition to whatever their room rate is - 2000 wouldn't surprise me. Mine costs 800 Baht total and I can bring whoever (or whatever) to my room with no extra charge. I get the impression that Paul has only half-gotten the idea of what this place is about. He's tickled pink if he's just getting laid: "I have two lady with me so far on holiday". (Well, me too, but I insist on having an adventure to go along with it).

So I meet Lek at her bar at 10 PM. We're to go discoing, but first she wants to see her sister who works in a gogo in town (Rodeo for those who want to know). We go to the gogo and Lek wants me to barfine her sister so she can join us for dancing ('Bun' is also quite cute and can also dance very well). I'm feeling magnanimous and agree. Between that and buying drinks for everone including the mamasan, Bun, Lek and me I drop $25. So three of us go to Hollywood Disco. It's jammed (Saturday night). We leave and decide to go to Xzyte disco. It's not so packed. (Upon entering you got shown to a table by one of the outside hostesses. This particular hostess was a ladyboy. Only in Thailand). Anyway, we're all having a good time and finally leave at 1:30 AM. I want to go the hotel as I'm a little tired. Lek wants to go to her bar. Bun decides to go home. So Lek and I are hanging in her bar - why? Don't ask me. Lek then tells me that she wants me to go to the hotel alone as there's something about a bet (I think). I don't really care as I'd prefer just to go to sleep. Lek wants me to see her the next evening. I'm not upset and will do so. My point in this narration is that I dropped about $75 last night (a large amount of money for here) and didn't even manage to get laid. "Mai pen rai" (Thai for "no matter"). There's always tomorrow.

More Sanuk Adventures

Lek comes by the hotel. We eat and shoot pool for a while. Return to the hotel for some proper R 'n R. I had thought that we would go to a Karoke later in the evening. Well, we did sort of, but much better.

Lek wants to go to a friend's birthday party. She spent the afternoon cooking spaghetti over at her sister's place in preparation for it. So off we go. The friend is the hairdresser that Lek goes to nearly daily. The party is at the shop where clothing, shoes, and wigs are also sold. There's about 30 people and the order of the day is to eat and drink (I'm one of the few teetotalers as that's the only way I can keep up with everyone). The group is comprised of the employees, bar girls, the bar girls' latest squeezes (including me), and a few Thai males. We're taking photos, singing songs with a Karoke player using CDs and two microphones, and overall having a pretty good time. By 11:00 I'm tired as I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep courtesy of Ma's early morning interruption. By midnight the last remaining 10 people, including the birthday girl, decide to head off to... (Can you guess?) a disco which is probably no more than 500 feet away.

By 2 AM the group exits the disco (I may be starting to lose my hearing as the sound does not seem to be quite as deafening as before). I have this fantasy that everyone is calling it a night as I really am beat. No way. The group repairs to one of the girls' beer bar, where, thanks to the local ordinances, the music has been turned off. It's very nice and low-key: there are people and vendors still out. The nighttime temperatures are really the best time of the day. I was talking with Del, one of the party guests. He describes himself as a professional playboy: he's about 65, retired and spends only 3 months a year in England (home). The rest of his time is spent mostly in Asia: 3 months for Thailand, and the rest divided between Fiji, Tahiti, Indonesia, and Singapore. Anyway, I get to telling him about Paul. Del tells me that he's got a girl for Paul that's cute and speaks German well.

Finally at 3 AM, everyone decides that it is indeed time to call it a night. Lek and I return to the hotel and just go to sleep.

8 AM, and believe it or not, Ma calls. I cannot believe this. I was as explicit as it's possible to be yesterday, patiently telling her that she and I are not going to continue - we were together for 24 hours, and only that long as I was just being polite. "Have you got lady? Is she special?", Ma asks. "Yes", I reply. I hang up. We'll see if she has finally gotten the point.

We wake at 2 PM (bar girl hours). Lek, bless her heart, is in and out of the shower in a mere 5 minutes as I had promised to meet Paul. So we meet him at his hotel and I learn that not only is this his first trip to LOS, but it's also his first trip by himself - he's around 40. He is not worldly in any sense of the word: No coffee "Makes me nervous", no disco "Too loud" "Yeah Paul, but the girls love it. Do it", won't eat off the food vendor carts "I'm afraid that I'll get sick". Paul tells me that, at last, he had a good night with a girl. I relay Del's info to him (actually the three of us walked over to Del's hotel but Del wasn't in). We'll see what happens.

The End of the Affair

After meeting Paul, Lek and I go bowling which she can't do for shit. This is not real surprising as exercise is a foreign concept. Bargirls smoke, drink beer, eat, sleep (an enormous amount of time), and screw. That's about the range of their activities. In the evening we go to a karoke and then back to the hotel. This definitely feels like a marriage as the electricity is slipping away. I think we both realize that our time together is drawing to a close which is really too bad as we're comfortable with one another and she knows English well enough that I can joke and communicate with her. In the morning Lek's knee, which she had been complaining about in the evening, is hurting her alot (she managed to wrench it while bowling). We go see a doctor in a nearby hospital. He prescribes some anti-inflamatory pills and topical cream. (Total cost is less than 400 Baht - about $9). No alcohol allowed. She is in real pain. This injury is as good a time as any for us to part as Lek really can't do much of anything now and so we say good-bye. No tears shed.

The End of the Affair ==> The Start of New One(s)

I'm feeling out of sorts somewhat and wander from one entertainment venue to the next. I go to the DollHouse Gogo. I see something truly different. Of the girls on stage "dancing" (usually sort of vaguely moving in time to the music), one is truly dancing. Good God!

All the dancers are wearing cute little school-girl outfits. (I find out later that these were not the gogo dancers - who wear lingerie - but were the waitresses. I guess everyone was a little bored so the waitresses were on stage).

Without further ado, I barfine "Pen" who is 4'10", plain looking (no makeup, which, by the way, often turns the plain-looking into beautiful), but is a bundle of energy. We go to a disco. (You can see by now what my fetish is: dancers who can move). Pen is really quite shy. She doesn't normally go with falangs and only went with me because I asked her to go dancing and not directly back to the hotel. A few days later she took me to her room: 15 x 20 feet. Bare tiled floor. Furniture consisted of a basket for toiletries (bathroom was communal), a small plastic set of drawers where she kept neatly-folded clothes, three small tables comprising a shrine to Buddha with fresh food set on it (common practice), and sort of a wall closet with the rest of her personal effects. Cost for accomadations: 2000 Baht (US$50) a month. Her salary: 4000 Baht. Not a whole lot left over from rent. She's 27, has two kids (no Thai girl over 25 hasn't had a kid near as I can tell).

I'd characterize Pen as being like a very religious Catholic girl working in a sex-oriented business and is not comfortable with the fact that what she is doing with me is prostitution as she considers herself a "bad girl". While it is charming to be "seducing" her everytime I want sex, it does get old after awhile: "Don't look at me naked" and so on.

On the other hand, Pen asks if I'd like to go to Happy agogo to see the lesbian show. I decline. She asks me if I'd like to short-time another lady. I decline. We go to my favorite beer bar to play pool. Pen is sitting down while I'm playing with one of the other girls. Pen tells me that if I like the girl, she (Pen) will ask the girl to go back to the hotel for the night. I joke and call Pen "Wife #1" and all the other bar girls "Mia Noi" (minor wives). Actually, this is all okay with Pen. In Thailand (and I guess Asia in general), if a man can afford it, multiple wives is acceptable (the reverse however, is definitely not. Double-standard if you ask me but Pen didn't get this fine point.)

After a few days I grow tired of Pen and so end it. I go see Pay once more over at Planet Rock agogo. Never again. She is simply too draining and takes all my power. This time I need 48 hours of downtime instead of the previous 24.

Nighttime and I'm wondering around from place to place. Now, just to paint an honest picture, not all Thai women are gorgeous. There's a fair number who aren't. It's just that the percentage of them who are is higher than in falangland. Point in case: Gilligin's gogo in Soi Pattayaland 1. These girls are 10 years and 2 or 3 babies too old. The only place that rivals this as being just as unappealing is Marilyn agogo at the start of Walking Street. How these places function as going concerns is a mystery to me.

I end up at Tony's Disco with the plan to spot Noi "the fantasy woman" (MainMan and Bahgwan both swear by her). I never see Noi but I do meet "Sahn". Tony's has these raised platforms where two people can dance. The practice is that the girls do their thing so as to attract a customer (Tony's being a pickup place as well as a straight disco). Sahn is a wonder to behold: dances really well and has a muscular-athletic build. I join her on the platform dancing. I figure her to be 18-20 years old. Later at the hotel I see her in better light. She tells me she's 34! Thai women really age well. She's also had 3 kids. I say no way! She's points to her stretch marks. She's right. But other than this really minor flaw, she has a gorgeous figure. She's got abs, shoulders, biceps, is ripped, and is not a ladyboy. She's a bargirl. Doesn't exercise. Genes I guess. Also, cannot read Thai.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I'm certainly having one.